I said from the beginning that this blog was mainly going to be the place where I let myself talk out whatever was in my head. It was going to be something I did to work through anything that I’m struggling with. I’m going to hold myself to that, because it is helping. And I know it’s not just me writing for the sake of writing. A few people have been following along and giving me feedback, and I’m grateful for that support. That being said I sincerely hope this is the one that doesn’t get read, because it’s the one I don’t want to write.
I don’t think it’s a secret to anyone paying much attention that I’m struggling with quite a few things right now. I’ve actually said just that in my posts. Being a newly married twenty-something who’s looking for a job while dealing with ongoing health issues and barely treading water against the tide of housekeeping, errands, cooking and bills is bound to create stress. Thankfully I have what seems like a never ending support system of both family and friends, some of whom may end up reading this one day. It’s those people that I’m talking to with this post.
First of all thank you. Thank you for being there to help me out, give advice or even just listen when I need to vent. Knowing that there are so many people whom I can depend on means more than I could ever say. Keep it up!
For those of you who have done most of the supporting and at times are feeling just as bogged down as me about my struggles, I need you to keep trying too. It may not seem like it but I promise you’re doing so much good for me. If you are feeling at a loss as to how to help further, here’s what I need from you.
First don’t stop asking if I need help. Chances are I will tell you no.
But knowing that the offer of help is there is always appreciated.
Ask me how I’m doing. More than likely there’s something I may need to talk about and asking that allows me to feel like less of a burden on you. That being said sometimes what I need is to talk about something else, the news, the weather, things outside of me and whatever daily issues I’m dealing with.
This is especially true for my health issues. Lately it seems like I’m less and less capable of controlling things going on with my health and the chance to get out of that head space is more than welcome.
Let me know that you are thinking about me and that I’m in your prayers. It’s such a simple thing but it’s so uplifting to know my problems matter to someone else. Especially if there isn’t anything physical you can do keeping sending prayers, and good vibes. They work.
Lastly don’t under estimate my understanding of my situation. Trust me I’m aware that I’m struggling. Captioning my problems or pointing out the things that you think I need to be doing or that I’m not aware of isn’t helpful and is likely compounding anxiety I already have about the situation. I’m doing the best I can in any given moment.
I don’t say that out of anger. Just frustration. I know you are just trying to help in the way you think is best. But that energy could be better spent in offering to help me complete the task that you see needs finishing or supporting me in another task that I have accomplished.
Again I will say how incredibly grateful I am for the help and support I receive. I’d be lost without it. But this is a difficult time for me and it may be for a while. So as hard as it may be I think the struggle just has to continue for now.