Remembering

It’s an indescribable feeling when you realize someone thinks of you, remembers you, even more so if you’re not a part of their daily lives. It’s a reminder that you exist in their minds even if you don’t see or speak to them every day. Sometimes the version of you in their minds isn’t representative of who you are now. But it can still be such an amazing thing to know that you exist for someone else, especially if it’s hard to feel like you exist for yourself.

Sometimes we can get so wrapped up in life, in things going wrong, in our negative thoughts and feelings. Being reminded that we are thought of, remembered, loved and cared about is so important. It can bring us back to ourselves. Or if that’s not possible in the moment, it can give us a point of reference to get back to eventually. It allows us the space to remember that we’re not our bad feelings, dark thoughts and mistakes.

It means so much to me that there are people in my life who continue to hold space for me. They call. They text. They invite me places. This means so much in and of itself but even more when offered with, “No pressure.”

There’s no obligation for me to pull myself together and be a person if that’s not something I can do on a given day. There’s an understanding that the time and energy that goes into me being a person might not exist. The relationships where that is something that I don’t have to explain are so incredibly important.

Being able to exist within my personal limits and boundaries without guilt or pressure is amazingly affirming. I know that these people love and care for me because I’m given the space to exist as I need to. I try as often as I can to come back to these relationships and express my gratitude and love but it always ends up feeling like an uneven trade off.

So to those people in my life who are out there remembering me, thinking of me occasionally (even if it’s an old me), to the people who continue to hold space for me, thank you. And if you’re holding space for someone else keep doing it. It’s needed, and I’m sure it’s appreciated.

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